Tuesday, May. 06, 2003 - 10:07 p.m.

I remember, I remember.

I remeber my favorite place - that spot under your left cheekbone that i would caress before we fell asleep.

I remember the green of that scarf I bought you one St Pat's day - how I hoped you would giggle like a leprechaun and make me forget the world around me, my father.

I remeber 'Hegel with bagel', silly rhyme schemes, iambic pentameter, and your hot-pink colored notebooks. You would hide what you had written away from me when I leaned over impatiently. 'Non adesso, non ancora'. 'Ma quando?' 'Non adesso.'

Not now. Not now then might as well have been not ever. Thrown together, wrent asunder, you were not laid to earth with a kiss...you continue in another of History's labryinthine paths. I do not reach for you again because you will not be found.

I remember and I ache. My hands shake and it could well be that they do so in anger. Why are you away? Why am I here? Solutions are in cubes, but this existential conundrum is a sphere, and these hands, pitifully small.

I pull you towards me, in memory, for the last time. 'Mi dispiace'

Not enough, not enough.

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